The Paragon

Yes! I found one.

Moving to Bangalore was more or less an impulsive decision. But then that’s what most of my decisions have been till date. And so Bangalore it’s going to be, I said to myself. I had to join the new position in two-week’s time. After arriving in Bangalore, and a couple of hours later in the new office, I found myself surrounded by a group of warm and friendly bunch of people who were going to be my new team members. I knew the manager as he was an old friend, and one of the team members too who was going to play a pivotal role in the coming months; I was a bit at ease though terribly tired. After a round of introductions I was introduced to a pleasant looking person who was going to be my Buddy. Arup Nag was his name.

My first reaction, to myself of course, was “not bad” for he seemed to be a nice guy. He suggested that we all exchange contact numbers, and asked me to feel free to reach out for any help. I liked that!

What transpired in the days to come is something I shall never be able to comprehend fully. What I experienced, what I learnt, the good the bad, has left an indelible mark on my psyche. But nonetheless here goes.

Next day, which was a Saturday, I got invited to one of the team member’s daughter’s birthday, and I was to go with my Buddy and his roommate who was a part of my team too. The plan was to meet at a common point in the evening. We met and the commute began. The ride was a rough one as it was raining and roads on the way had been dug for metro rail lines. But more than anything else it was the distance that was killing us. Well, we finally reached the destination. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable and had a splitting headache. I popped some pills and decided to step out in the balcony for some fresh air. My friend, the manager (not sure if I should be referring him that anymore!) suggested we stay back for the night as it’ll be pretty late by the time we leave and reach the other end of the city. I didn’t quite like the idea. Arup sensed it. He immediately came to me and said, “Don’t worry. I’m also not comfortable with us staying back. I’ll book a cab and we’ll all leave together.”

I was very touched by his gesture. More than anything else it was the assurance, the understanding in his voice that left me moved, and of course relieved. And he’d known me only for a day. I liked that!

In the next couple of weeks, I got to spend lot of time with my buddy. He briefed me on the procedures, processes, operations and so on. He fully realized that it was a huge shift for me not just in terms of the company but also in terms of the profile, the industry. I, hence, observed his explanations were bite-sized and he stuck to being as non-technical as possible. He kept checking with me if I was able to take it all in, and if I wanted him to go slower. I liked that!

Metro was getting launched in Ludhiana and we were all to go there to attend the opening. Some of the trainers including Arup left earlier, and the rest of us were to leave after a couple of days. I was quite excited. Little did I know or was aware of what was in store for me. Pun intended! Journey to Ludhiana was a long one, and eventful too. After checking in to the hotel I was visibly disappointed. The quality of the rooms was low, and I didn’t find it quite basic enough. Everyone from the team had called it a day including Arup. I had dinner with two of my female colleagues including the manager's muse which again was not quite up to the palate. All of us expressed our dissatisfaction, and finally retired to our respective rooms.

Next morning we were having breakfast and just then Arup came up to us. He generally asked if everything was ok in terms of stay and food. My face still carried the expression from the previous night, and I have a feeling he guessed my state of mind. However, I kept mum. The other two women sprung up saying that yes, everything was perfect! I couldn’t believe it. I mean, just last night we were all in agreement over the disagreeable state of affairs. What happened now???!!!!!! Seeing them rattling on dumbly, I couldn’t control myself and added my two pence that no, all was not good with the arrangements. Thankfully, he didn’t act surprised and in order to make the atmosphere lighter added in a jocular vein, ‘This is life! Yeh sab hota rehta hai. Khush rehna chahiye’……..something on those lines. I lost it! I snapped at him saying I was in no mood for a sermon early in the morning. He didn’t say anything. Just smiled and left it at that.

Unbelievable remorse and shame is perhaps what describe the next few minutes of my life in that moment and situation. Did I actually say that? To someone whom I’ve barely known for two weeks. We’d reached the store, and per that day’s schedule I was to spend it shadowing Arup. Poetic justice! I said to myself. It couldn’t have got more awkward than this. Well, I had to do it and I decided to do it before it gets too late and more awkward. I couldn’t muster courage to look him in the eye and mutter an appeal of forgiveness. Texting came to my rescue. I wrote a sincere and heartfelt note, words of apology. He wrote back saying, ‘It’s ok. I understand.’ Strangely, I could feel that yes, he did. I wrote again apologizing for my appalling behavior to which he replied that yes, he was aware of all that I was going through and that I was tired and hence, it was natural of me to react in such a way. I felt a huge sense of relief mixed with wonderment and gratitude. Who was this guy? Was he really this good?

What I went through in the next few days or rather what I experienced, and yes I write these words again, will be etched in my memory for years to come. On one hand, where I found myself vulnerably and unexpectedly exposed to the insensitive behavior and alienation from my friend; on the other, I felt strangely comfortable in the presence of this one person I hardly knew. What the hell was happening? What was going on?

He would every day ask me how I was doing. His concern always shone through. However, he told me later what was going through his mind those days. He said he kind of felt that he was taking things lightly and perhaps making a mockery of my situation. The logic behind the thought being that I had come from an A-list company, Google and having wallowed in luxury for 4 years must be finding it difficult to adjust. He even added saying he'd been feeling guilty. I told him he didn't need to, and that au contraire, for some reason I had never doubted his genuineness. However, all that he'd said in terms of reasoning was true to the core. I was having a rough time. It was an ordeal and I wanted it to end. And, soon. He would often express his concern; not that he needed to. I of course always politely asked him not to worry and that I was learning to adjust. But within a day or so I felt the change. I could see him more worried and more anxious about my state. It touched me in an odd sort of way. I started to find his presence comforting and reassuring. It felt good when he was around. And I liked that!

By our last night in Ludhiana, I was quite miffed with the manager’s behavior and had sort of been feeling withdrawn and shelled. I was in my room when his muse called to say that there was plan to eat out. My instinct was to immediately say no. But then I decided to play along. Needless to say, I curse myself for this momentary lapse till date. Anyway, on our way to the destination, I was quiet, didn’t feel like talking much. The manager was trying to entertain but I could not bring myself to getting amused by his efforts. I’m not sure how much of this Arup sensed, however when we reached the place I ended up sitting between the manager and Arup. What I later realized was that Arup though extremely conscious, was trying to put me at ease and somehow make me smile. Having said that I strongly feel that his attempts were innocent and not planned. His charm was effortless and it seemed to have worked. I was feeling quite good by the end of it all.

A week later with our Ludhiana stint over we were off to Amritsar. We were to visit the Golden Temple and then proceed to Wagah border. A strange incident occurred while we were in the Golden Temple. My friend, or I should rather say our manager, yeah, that’s more like it. He'd been behaving quite oddly and indifferently of course, and I’d started to feel it was largely due to a presence resulting in a territorial conflict, if you know what I mean. It’s something I’ve no intentions to elucidate further on. It requires mention purely because of the significantly instrumental role it played in the blossoming of this beautiful friendship that I’m talking here about. And so let’s stick to that, shall we?

So, the manager, realizing that we were a little tight on schedule suggested we go directly for the langar. For a moment I couldn’t believe he actually said that. I mean, who visits a temple just to have food and not pay respects to the deity? What does it indicate? Lack of maturity, flawed upbringing, zero values? I was anyway adamant to visit the sanctorum first and if time permitted proceed for langar. And I expressed so. On hearing me say this, Salil, one of our colleagues admitted his consent too. I looked at Arup. ‘Of course, I’m with you’ was writ all over his face. I liked that!

We finished lunch and started for Wagah. Might I add at this juncture that the weather conditions in Ludhiana and now Amritsar were not quite conducive for traveling. Simply put, it was bloody hot! And, I was finding it hard to take it. When we reached Wagah what I saw is indescribable. There was, if not sea, a lake or river of people, if there is such an expression. In other words, there was no place to stand, let alone to sit or to relax. And, every minute the crowd was increasing. It was 3:30PM and the gates were to open at 5. They soon started to separate us in two groups, men and women. So the manager’s muse and I were on one side and the boys were on the other. Finally, the moment arrived and the gates opened. Believe it or not, even before we could realize what was happening, the two of us were shoved across. Amidst the hustling, I don’t know when we were on the other side still getting pushed and trying to balance ourselves and sprinting in between, literally. After all the frisking and searching, we reached the gate atop which was the seating arrangement and from where you could see the Pakistan side and watch the famous evening parade routine. Fatigue does not even begin to describe my state. Dehydration, hunger, body pain, and needless to add, irritation; what the hell were we doing here? Call me unpatriotic and I won’t argue. Though I must say that as much as I wanted to be a spectator to something so special the murderous termination of my enthusiasm was largely due to the conditions I was in. Surely, the others were feeling the discomfort too but strangely nobody said anything, not much at least. As a result, I also became the bad guy. I wasn’t very ok with it but then it was something I couldn’t do much about. And so I let it be!

After a point when I couldn’t take any of it anymore, I told my colleague that I was going down for a while. I came down the gate tower and started walking. I was suppose to go back and join the rest but unconsciously I found myself, without even realizing, walking back. My legs didn’t stop me. I had no strength to even pause for a moment and think. I just kept on walking. It was a long walk but I finally reached the parking area. To my utter disappointment I couldn’t remember the car we’d come in. I guess the fatigue had completely clouded my mind. I couldn’t even remember the driver’s face. I panicked a bit but kept walking and looking around for a familiar one. I remember feeling parched with thirst and asking a local dhaba guy to give me some water as I didn't have any money. After a bit of floundering, I finally, to my utter delight, discovered our vehicle and the driver standing next to it. He waved at me and I rushed towards the car. I almost drank a bottle of water, washed my face and sprayed myself all over. I felt as if I hadn't breathed in the last two hours. I now was! After about an hour, the rest of the group returned. I was half asleep. They sounded a bit worried. They’d been looking for me. We were not allowed mobiles for security reasons so nobody knew where I was. I apologized, not that I wasn't feeling guilty. But strangely, more than the manager’s and his muse’s reaction I was trying to figure out Arup’s. He didn't say anything. Guess, he was too tired. He sure was dripping with sweat.

We headed straight to the railway station. We had a train to catch to Delhi. Maasi wanted to come and see me so I told her to come directly to the station. She asked me which sweetmeat delicacy I wanted to have. I shamelessly gave her my choice. But then it was Maasi I was talking to, my darling. Arup and Rajat went to freshen up; manager along with another colleague went off to get dinner. After a while we boarded the train. The rest of us freshened up. We then had dinner. It was time to call it a day! Phew! What a day it had been.

Morning we reached Delhi and immediately started for the airport. Our flight was in the afternoon. We freshened up and decided to go for breakfast in a while. I decided to go look out for a magazine counter but couldn't find any. On my way back to the lounge area where all of us had stationed ourselves I saw a Haldiram shop and stepped in. While I was going through the savory range I saw my colleagues including the manager walk past in a hurry. I found it a bit disconcerting. I quickly paid for my purchase and followed the team. We all went to the first floor. The manager looked upset, wonder why, he snapped at his muse and left in a huff. Nobody knew or could figure out what had caused this impulsive, immature and ludicrous reaction. We didn't have a choice but to keep mum and wait for things to cool down. But it shocked me beyond belief how weirdly and appallingly this man had behaved, and what image was he building of himself as a manager, as a human being. The reactions that poured out were kind of mixed. I found that a bit strange too. Wasn't this categorically inappropriate? I tried to distract myself but was finding it quite difficult. We all then finished breakfast and headed for the lounge. After a few whispers and murmurs, conversation got back on track. Phew! Strangely, I don't remember Arup saying much. 

Soon it was time for Arup and the other colleague to board. They were leaving for Hyderabad. I was going to see him after 2 weeks. Sure. We boarded ours for Bangalore two hours later. By evening I was home. Later in the night, the manager sent us all a message granting us permission to report by afternoon the next day. What a gesture, I thought! And thanked him promptly. Though in the months to come I realized how stupid it was of me to even bother. His behavior had been unforgivable.

Next morning or rather next afternoon I reached office. Things seemed pretty normal. I found that a bit strange but nonetheless. Days passed on. I found myself trying to fit in to the scene and familiarize myself with things around. The handover began and I figured there was a lot to do but the whole place lacked organization. It was mayhem. And while all this was happening I also noticed that my relationship with my friend was taking a different turn, and not a pleasant one at that. I was having to push my boundaries to try and comprehend this odd change. Yes, I could see that he seemed to have a special bond with the other lady colleague, whom I've been referring to as his muse all along, and it was perfectly fine with me. I mean, honestly I’d be happy for him if things worked out. However, this hidden development would affect my friendship in any way was not within the cognizable realms of my thinking. But that’s exactly what was happening and I was to realize this, sadly, much later, and much to my disappointment.

Two weeks had passed. This fine Monday morning I reached office and guess what? There was Arup! He was back from his trip. I was very happy to see him but didn’t say so. We exchanged pleasantries. He asked me if everything was ok. I knew what he meant, and just smiled. After a while he looked at me and said, ‘It’s so good to see you!’ More than for what he said I was happy because he said it. I wanted to say, ‘Concur!’ but couldn’t. A couple of days later, and since mostly my conversation revolved around the horrendous and inextricably unforgettable Ludhiana experience, Arup one day, referring to the trip, in the evening asked me, ‘How are you doing?’

I said, ‘Fine, I guess.’

He said, ‘I discovered something about you.’

I said, ‘What is that?’

He said, ‘You are very spiritual.’

I was a bit taken aback, but only asked, ‘How?’

He then reminded me of a statement I’d made nonchalantly and of course unaware if someone was around and watching. He said it was somewhere on the train that I’d said to myself, ‘This too shall pass!’ I was little embarrassed thinking what impression he might have made of me on this account. But he further added saying that it made him think of the impact the whole experience was having on me. He said he was quite touched by the fact that I was trying to adjust and not make a big deal of it despite the adverse circumstances. He added that he could clearly see I was pushing myself constantly, and that he wanted to tell me on numerous occasions I didn’t need to. I couldn't believe myself! Was I that transparent or was this man above ordinary having taken the pain to go the extra mile to try and understand my predicament. Wow! I so like him!

The coming months form a blurred image in my mind, but a happy one thinking about how and why my friendship with Arup was developing. It’s quite difficult to put across every conversation, but then yes, it’s these conversations that started to form an image of this thorough gentleman. I guess after a long time I came across a man who was shy, literally shy. And it was his shyness and its unmatched and rare combination with chivalry that made him so adorable. I found myself opening up to him, and pretty fast. Confessedly, I was amazed at my own ease and comfort level when I was with him. I was constantly surprising myself and told him so too, one day.

He seemed quite conscious in terms of his body language and overall behavior. However, his expressions were safely open and most enjoyable. I found all of it quite endearing. Life seemed good. And I liked that!

The year was fast moving towards its culmination and Arup was traveling quite a bit. I think I used to miss him when he was not around, but I wasn't sure if my mind had acknowledged this development at all. Whenever he’d be in office we would chat on various topics, spend time together. I had started to enjoy this bonhomie.

The New Year started with the Symposium buzz. A 3-day program, it was going to be the first one since all the new additions to the team including myself. Yes, to be honest I was excited. Little did I know that those 3 days were going to prove to be excruciatingly torturous, needless to add unpleasantly unforgettable ones. A couple of days in to the New Year and the itinerary was out. However, what we didn’t know until the first day of the event was the list of activities that were supposedly lined up for us to participate in. Discussions galore followed by preparations in the air, the day arrived. Our colleagues from other states had also flown in. Day one itinerary, after a round of introductions, an ice-breaker, was announced. ‘We start with Treasure Hunt!’ the manager said. I’m not a very games person but then I thought, ‘What the hell!’ We were divided in to teams and after about couple hours of running around it came to an end. Arup’s team was the winner!

It was lunch time, and none of was knew what was in store for the remaining part of the event. ‘Hot Seat,’ the manager announced. Each one of us was to sit in the middle of the group and all the team members were to say what they thought about us. It started alright! I remember saying some really nice things about the manager. Today, I can’t stop feeling angry with myself. What was I thinking!

The exercise, unexpectedly, turned out to be taking longer than usual. Arup’s turn came and he went and sat in the center. The round began with everyone saying good things about him especially his professional behavior, his expertise and subject knowledge. And of course, his good-naturedness and charm was something that everyone mentioned. When it was my chance to speak for a moment, I remember, I felt a rush as I wanted to say so many things. However, I restrained myself emphasizing on the fact that he was special because he’d been my buddy, and that he’d been extremely supportive and helpful throughout. I then added that he was someone who came across quite shy and reserved; however was a great conversationalist with a firm grip on various subjects.

Quite honestly, I was waiting for my turn purely because I wanted to hear what he had to say about me. And my turn came, the next day. He described me elegant with great vocabulary and someone who was eager to learn. Funnily and sadly, I don’t remember after that. What I do remember, however, is that he very vividly described how I’d pulled a dog cart full of sacks of rice twice in the Ludhiana store. I knew exactly what he was trying to say, but what I also realized, much to my chagrin, was that NOBODY understood!

The last day turned out to be most horrendous. The activity was called ‘My story.’ An intelligent guess and I knew I was doomed or rather most of us were if I might add on their behalf. Anyway, cutting the drama, we were to narrate our life story till date highlighting all the important turning points in our respective lives. Trust me when I say, I wanted to get this thing over and done with, and fast. Arup spoke before me. I liked the way he went about his journey so far. What distinctly remains etched in my mind is his experience with leprosy patients in a hospital where his father was positioned for sometime. In a moment’s flash it made me realize the unique spectrum of life that he’d been exposed to, and how must it have affected his psyche and overall outlook. Perhaps that explained his indefatigable spirit and an all-acceptance approach in life. I was nervous as hell when my turn came. He sensed that. I tried to be as cryptic as possible, however, needless to say, since most of the experiences of my adult life had been unpleasant, my narration turned dark and morose. Looking back I feel I could’ve avoided some of it. Nevertheless, as soon as I was done, I got a text. It was from him, congratulating me on my composed narration. It felt nice.

By the time everybody got done with their respective life stories it was late evening with a couple of hours left for partying. There’s not much that I wish to write here describing the party because there’s nothing to write, however what does need mentioning is how Arup came to my rescue once again before the ordealious day came to an end. The day’s events had been quite emotionally disturbing so to speak. With the manager’s behavior still at the back on my mind, I was particularly in a mopey state because couple of days later was my wedding date, and since I’d just briefly described to a 15-member strong audience the D-day’s occurrence and then the falling apart of the union, all of it had left me feeling vulnerable and exposed.

An hour or so later and a couple of Breezers down with no mood to hit the dance floor for various reasons, I decided to step out in the open and breathe. As I sat down on a sidewalk in the park outside I broke down. An over-whelming sense of grief gripped me. Just then I felt someone sit down beside me. I was not surprised. It was Arup! He asked me why I was crying. I first thought I should keep it to myself, but then I couldn’t control it. I blurted out saying all that was bothering me and had been on my mind for a while. I told him why I had been feeling for sometime that essentially I was not a good human being. He seemed to have understood all of it. I could feel it, yet again. There was genuineness and concern in his voice and the way he spoke. I was truly touched. He even offered to take me out for dinner if I deemed it appropriate, he said. “How sweet,” I thought. “Deemed appropriate!” Of course I deemed it appropriate, and immediately nodded my head.

Whether we went for that dinner or not is irrelevant. What’s important is this gentleman’s thoroughly genuine concern and willingness to help that came across so vividly in that moment. Ah! God bless him!

We wrapped up by midnight and it was time to go home. Along with another colleague in the cab we were on our way. I reached home around 1 am. By 1:15 am I received Arup’s text that he too had reached home. I’d asked him to message me. At about 2 o’clock the manager called asking me if I wanted to say something. Yes, I said to myself. There was quite a bit that I wanted to say but my senses got the better of me and I just replied, ‘No, nothing. Not now.’

Next morning Arup texted again to check if I was doing ok and if I was feeling alright. It was very thoughtful of him. A simple thank you from my side was not enough. I wished I could tell him how heartfelt it was.

With Delhi store round the corner and the Jaipur one at its heels, the travels were beginning to gain momentum. Arup was to travel too, to Delhi. The day after he left I could feel as if I was missing something. And I don’t think I was sure what and why.

My friendship, however, with Arup had taken quite an eventful turn by now in terms of ease and comfort. Not that there was any lack of it earlier, but I could sense the further advancement of it. Our messages had become more elaborate, and on other occasions more cryptic considering we understood each other’s minds even better. It was almost like a conversation, something that Arup remarked upon recently. In his words, “SMS par toh baat hoti hai!” I've held that against him and he knows. We’ve had a semi-argument over it as well but more on that later.

Coming back to our increasing comfort level, I had started to feel that Arup was opening up more and that he felt comfortable sharing his thoughts. In the following months, the relationship seemed to be growing from strength to strength with each passing day, with each conversation, with each text message!

Month of May, Jaipur store was opening up. Arup was to go for post opening audit. The plan, ideally, was suppose to be for a week. While he was there our texting continued and so did the sharing of thoughts. He would ask me occasionally if I wanted something from Jaipur. I found that very endearing, but said no. One day he texted, saying that his stay might get extended for another week. I don’t know why but I felt wrenched inside. I reacted by saying that this was not fair and that he should come back and so on. It was more of a ramble I feel looking back. Since he was also not very happy about it he voice was a little off too.

In that one week my thoughts had clarity and acknowledgement. Yes, I missed him! I told him so; however he did not say anything in return. His normal shy self always getting the better of him in moments like such. I do remember to shamelessly rattle on still. Finally, he was back. And he brought me a gift too! A cute little camel handcrafted in typical Rajasthan style. I invited him over for lunch for the following Saturday and he agreed. Aloo paratha was on the menu, on demand.

Each day was a happy day when he was around. I could feel it! The general cheer in the air, the upbeat atmosphere; though I wonder if it was just for me. Arup had started painting. He would often over texts describe what he was working on. I found that quite exciting, and reasonably impressive. One day he brought his collection to the office. We all went through the sheets and were shocked in awe. The pieces were brilliant! The sketches, the color selection, the strokes….everything. I congratulated him and expressed my appreciation. He smiled casually and we left it at that. Did he not believe me, it left me thinking though.

With many more lunches and dinners to follow, the relationship was blooming and blossoming and continues to do so as I write this piece. When I started it he was traveling and even today he is. The messages continue; calls have come in to the picture too. But the arduous wait to have him around sometimes is over-bearing. He’s been traveling for over two months now. He’s dropped in in-between for a week or so and needless to say those days have been special.

On one of our rendezvous at home, he noticed Lord Krishna paintings on one of the walls at home. Also, he’d also accompanied me to the ISKCON temple once. And so the conversation got steered to my beliefs and what made me feel drawn towards this form of Him in particular. It was an interesting one, I should say. However, what followed after this conversation is something that perhaps I will never find enough words to express, or to justify my emotions.

One fine morning when I reached office, Arup called me to his desk and handed out an envelope. I opened it and lo and behold! There were three Krishna paintings! He said, ‘They are for you. Do you like them?’

‘Like them? I absolutely love them!” I said, imagining how they will look on the wall framed against a black background. Two months later, they today adorn my house. They look stunning, needless to say. And I’m so proud of him. Four more paintings after that followed including one on canvas. They shall soon join the rest.

It was July and I was starting to get excited about my birthday especially because Mum was coming. Kausor di had confirmed her trip too. And I wanted both of them to meet Arup. Though somehow I was a bit apprehensive and had a hunch that he will not be around for my birthday. I shared my thought with him too. Since he was also not sure of how things will pan out in view of the store opening phase he didn't say much. Luckily though he was around; he’d finished his first lap of tours and was back only for a week. I’d taken 2 days off and incidentally the day before my birthday he didn't come to office as he was not well. I went to visit him in the evening and he handed me a cardboard box which he said was my birthday gift! He said he didn't have time to gift-wrap it, and so if I wished I could take it the next day when he would come for dinner or could take it now as well. I grabbed it. “Who cares about the wrap,” I said.

I reached home and told Mum. I couldn't wait until midnight to open it. Midnight struck and his was the first wish on my phone. A few minutes later I opened the cardboard box. I could not believe when I saw what was inside! It was a brass statue of Lord Krishna! How the hell did he know it was exactly what I was looking for to place in the temple but hadn't been able to get the right size? It was perfect. A rush of emotions surged me. I wanted to call him right away, try and tell him what I was feeling but then realized it was past midnight and he must be asleep. I took a deep breath and wrote him a heartfelt thank you note. Though I kept thinking the whole night that it was not enough.

Such thoughtful gestures are priceless! These gifts are invaluable! Will I ever be able to match these? I know I should not be thinking on these lines and when he is reading this he’s going to react in the same way too, but nonetheless I can’t help but wonder.

Before he left for his first trip of this season, I remember having tête-à-tête with him on couple of occasions on how things stand. I was feeling extremely nervous about the impending long stretch, and much to my surprise had been behaving oddly too. I knew exactly why it was all happening, and distinctly remember feeling helpless. While talking to him one particular evening before he left I teared up thinking about his absence in the coming weeks. I even apologetically confessed about my irrational behavior in the last few days. I then asked him what was going on in his mind. He took a pause and said it was going to be difficult for him too. And finally, much to my pleasant surprise, he said, ‘Yes, I will miss you.’ Considering all that he’d been facing at work owing to the manager’s obnoxious and unexplainable behavior on account of his increasing bond with me, I found that extremely touching.

Looking back, it only seems a year. Emotionally though it’s been an eventful journey. Sometimes my mind tries to race and guesstimate how things will be six months from now, but I fail. As much as I try to mollify myself in to thinking that I should enjoy the present and make the most of these moments I am, at the same time, compelled to feel nervous and edgy. What next??? I often ask myself.

 

People like Arup are rare. They are the rare gems hardly to be found. Emotionally clear, intellectually high and a true man from the heart. But he is all this and more! I often tease him saying that thank God he’s not meterosexual; but more on that some other time. He may not say all that he feels, but his actions speak a thousand words. And actions and gestures are what stay with you for life. Be it taking me out for lunch, buying grocery or hearing me out in times of distress which mind you is as frequent as it can be, the man’s clearly got a heart of gold. Yes, the exterior is tough but inside he is a marshmallow. One look at him and you feel for sure that things are in control. He brings about a sense of calm and peace. He helps me understand life from various perspectives. Every conversation with him leaves me enriched, satisfied and wanting for more. However, might I add, one sneak peek in to his psyche and one can sense the turbulence. His mind it seems is going through a perpetual tempest of sorts.

It’s difficult to stop writing, yet at the same time difficult to put everything in words. Soon after coming to this city, I used to often wonder why life had taken such a rueful turn and why I had ended up in this drudgery. However today, I feel differently.

Yes, it was destiny that I come here, yes it was destiny that I get associated with this company, yes it was destiny that I come in contact with all the people that I have come across so far, and YES it was destiny that I meet him. It was fated to have him come in to my life. And I feel blessed to have met someone as remarkable as him!